Expectations

As a person who has dealt with depression in the past, the idea that I might end up with postpartum depression has been present in my mind.

I’ve also thought about the idea that if I’m expecting depression, am I better equipped to deal with the symptoms if they arrive?  Will Alex have a better understanding as to what to expect if it happens?  There have been a whole bunch of questions and thoughts running through my head this past few months.

So naturally I’ve looked up article after article about this topic.  Trying to see what to expect. This article said something a little different that really made me think.

The idea that it might not the mother’s fault honestly hadn’t crossed my mind.  I had assumed it was all about hormones changing in the body.  Hormones are a contributing factor in clinical depression, why would postpartum depression be any different.  That article gives an alternative theory.  One which I could see worth testing out in my own life.

I’m trying to not put certain expectations on myself.  I don’t have a plan on going back to work or not.  My current job happens to be ending at the end of my maternity leave.  (Aka not my choice.)  I’m not expecting to have to do everything myself.  Alex gets paternity leave, my mom will have winter break around the time the baby arrives, and Alex’s family will be in town for the holidays.  All of which will help in any way they can.

I’m super happy and lucky to have such a strong support system and I expect that I’ll be using it as much as they allow me.  Hopefully everything will go better than expected.

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